A most dreadful thing happened recently, and I am still in recovery mode! I misplaced my glasses! And no, they were not on my head. I checked there first!

For those of you good people who do not need such sight enhancers perched on your nose, this can be a nerve shattering event.

I naturally checked the nightstand beside the bed where they usually lie, within easy reach in the mornings. Nope. Not there. I then pulled open the drawer to check in case I had, for some dumb reason, locked them out of easy reach. Yes, there were a pair of glasses in there but they were old readers!

I got down on my knees, not always an easily managed maneuver these days, to check under the bed. Nope. Nothing, not even dust. Well, at least the robot vacuum was working.
I called out to Teddy and asked if he could help me find my glasses. He yelled back, and asked, “Have you checked the bathroom?”

Good idea. I marched into the bathroom, followed by my dear husband and we proceeded to open every drawer and cabinet and check every shelf. “Aha!” my investigator cried, “I found them!” He held up a blue case in triumph. “No! Those are my old prescription!” I wailed, “Keep looking.”

It took a while to replace all of the cosmetics, Kleenex boxes, toilet paper rolls and towels we had unearthed in our rather haphazard search, but soon we were on the hunt again. “You look in the living room by my chair, “I instructed, “I’ll check the laundry room.”

“Nope!” Teddy called a few moments later, “No glasses, but you may need to help me put the furniture back in place, I kind of got carried away.”

“Aha!” I cried, rushing into the living room and immediately catching myself from falling over a chair he had moved. “You hid them from me, didn’t you?” I pointed an accusing finger at my mate, who, despite his mature age, still has a nine-year old boy hiding inside.

“Wasn’t me this time,” He grinned, “Did you check your purses!?” Really? I had looked there first.

I marched back to the laundry room. Truthfully, I was leaving a similar trail of destruction. There were several containers and bottles of various detergents in the middle of the floor, and I had dumped the full laundry basket as well. Still no glasses.

“Did you check the car?” Teddy asked, coming up behind me and dodging a dirty sock as I attempted to reorganize the latest chaos.

“No, let’s go there.” I followed him into the garage. We each took a side and dug under the seats, into the glove compartment, above the sunshades, in the middle storage compartment and finally in the side pockets. “Any luck?” I asked pushing the hair out of my eyes. “I found a flashlight and some gloves.” He answered. I stomped back into the house and began to tear my office apart.

Not in the roll top desk, not in a drawer, nor a cabinet. I found about two hundred paper clips, rubber bands and batteries that usually live in the junk drawer in the kitchen but no glasses. “Those were my grandfather’s. And where did you find them?”

Surprisingly, he came up with an old leather hard case with wire-rimmed glasses. “No,” I shook my head, “Those were my grandfather’s. Where on Earth did you find them?”

After we had navigated the entire house including the spare bedrooms and extra bath Teddy said he would check the back porch since I sometimes sat out there when it wasn’t so hot. I told him I was going to get a Mt. Dew as I had worked up a sweat.

I went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door and as I was reaching in, my now blurry eyes fell on of all things, a pair of prescription glasses just like what I was looking for. Eureka! But realizing where I had found them and how silly it was, I hesitated to make this admission. No sense in getting laughed off of the planet this early in the day.

When my husband returned from the porch he found me sitting in my chair carefully perusing the channels on the television, glasses on my face.

“Where did you find those?” He gasped. I patted the tiny table beside my chair. “Right here under the newspaper. You must have missed them.”

So, now you are all my co-conspirators and if you won’t tell him, I won’t either.